2025 was a very long year. It came with a lot of ups and downs, medication side effects that left me bleeding. The upheaval of childhood trauma I thought I'd put down, a lot of it surrounding my father…

I realized something though. My ASD, my lexical OCD… that didn't come from my mom… Those things came from my dad. While they hurt me at times, they're also like superpowers in my hands when I want them to be.

The hurt wasn't his parting gift. It was the ability to interface with machines, work like a machine, produce like a machine. Sit so far outside the curve that it sometimes feels lonely and that's okay.

The older I get, the more I understand him and I finally came to the realization that he didn't leave me… He left a home that couldn't see him, much like it couldn't see me.

This scribble is for my father.