If you’ve followed me since the beginning of my crazy indie music hunting journey, you were probably around during the original indie music hunt and the loss of my father. No single event in my life had ever reverberated into so many aspects of my life.
It was a destabilizing event that basically pulled the bottom Jenga block out of my life. Everything seemed to get very difficult, except for this one thing. All these artists that somehow began to care about me as more than just a figure on a screen made sure to reach out. They kept me involved, and the less I could seem to manage to do what I once did, the more it seemed to create an explosion of people around me taking up some sort of mantle of hope for a dream I didn’t know I had. This was over two years ago now, and if I’m honest, I’m still fractured in a way that I will never repair completely.
I carried that weight around for a long time. If it’s not obvious, I am not a very emotional person, but I am a deeply feeling person. I just wasn’t able to access much feeling around the loss of my father. During this time, Forest Blue was creating a collab album about video games. I wanted to create something, but like I’d said, everything was a bit of a struggle. I’d heard this song before, but when the album came out, the song destroyed me. I was finally able to connect to the emotion of loss in a meaningful way. That expression was sobbing like someone inconsolable, but that was important. It unlocked something holding me back. My father lives beside me in my mind now, and this song has started to connect me to him through all the people holding this silly indie-verse together. Now when I listen, and the line “I really need you now” comes on, Im probably thinking about all of you.
You are all such unique threads in this strange tapestry. I don’t really expect anyone to read this and connect to the song the same way I did, but then again, I already know people who do. Music is a magical thing, and I will not be convinced otherwise.
Pick up the single on Bandcamp / Pick up the collab album on Bandcamp
Stay Crispy
Host,
If you’re obsessed with Forest Blue and struggling with loss, take a journey with my friends James (@clysmicband) and Forest Blue (@forest_b_l_u_e)
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